|the Big Toe story
||[Sep. 21st, 2006|01:43 pm]
I should have died, and this is why...
So at college, you're exposed to all sorts of magnificent injuries, right. Some magnificently unlucky, some monumentally stupid. This... this was some of both.
Freshman year, I see this guy walking on crutches, with a bandage on his foot, right. I've had random stuff done to my feet, and I figure "hey, the guy had toe surgery," something like that. Nooo. Not so much.
Talking with him, he and some friends were apparently preparing for a party, and (heh, I almost couldn't help but laugh)
PINCHED HIS BIG TOE OFF (*poof*, off) WHEN THE BEER KEG FELL OUT OF THE TRUCK ON HIS FOOT.
That will make a good story for the grandchildren.
Did I ever tell you about my buddy Javo in college?
He was a big guy, around 6'3", 220, Marine ROTC. He wore his Marine ring ALL THE TIME.
One night he was in one of the campus parking garages and he jumped up to smack one of the girders overhead (Why do guys do that, btw? Not like I haven't, but I wonder why we feel the impulse.). Anyway, he hit it "just right" so the edge of the steel hit just between the bottom of his ring and the where the finger joins the palm. He hung up for about half a second until his finger tore off.
They couldn't reattach it.
Oh my fking ....
I probably would've thrown up right then if I'd seen that.
I wasn't there when it happened. I saw him a couple days later after he came out of the initial painkiller haze and was walking around with the bandage on his hand.
Lucky for him the guy he was with had completed corpsman or medic training just a few months before; so there was top notch first aid at the scene.
I went to interview at baldeagle
's company right around when I graduated. They shuffled me around in a bunch of offices, since I'm not sure they realized I was actually going to show up for the interview--I was on time, they'd forgotten. One of these shuffels was into some HR person's office, wherein there was a guy waiting on a workman's comp claim because he pinched his index finger AND thumb off, under a skid coming to rest, that weighed something like 60000 pounds. How one hand will help at all, when moving something that heavy, with a crane, I'll never know.
Not exactly the most reassuring thing, it wasn't.
Nu uh. Top notch would be one of the guys having a bag of ice handy to put the finger on so they could put the fucker back on. :)
Ice wasn't the issue. If I recall correctly, he was at the hospital in less than 20 minutes. It was too jagged and mangled to put back on.
Props to his buddy for jumping up and fishing the finger out of the trough of the girder so they could even try.
OH MAN. a friend will help you move. A true friend will RETRIEVE YOUR FINGER.
Yeah. That's a favor you can't repay with just a six-pack and large pizza.
"Hey, man, I need you to drive me to the airport at 4 a.m. Saturday."
"Dude, c'mon, take a cab or something."
"Okay. Hey, remember that time I dug your severed finger out of a steel girder for you?"
"4 a.m., you say? See ya then.
Can't milk it _too_ much, though, or you''d just end up getting your finger cut off.
"see, now we're even. Asshole."
OW. *looks at Aggie Ring* There's a reason why I don't wear my ring in the plant. I'd never think of that happening in a parking garage, though.
I always hear about those kind of things happening. And every time it makes me cringe. A lot. OUCH.
You wanna hear about Aggie Ring related injuries... one time Mary found some reason to backhand me (in the chest, she's not that tall remember) in response to some smartass comment of mine while I was driving. Usually I dodge these kind of reprisals, but this time I was strapped to my seat by the seatbelt.
Totally got a bruise. Well, not really a bruise, but it hurt for a minute or two.
Yeah, I've got nothin.