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the Big Toe story - I should have died, and this is why... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
I should have died, and this is why...

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the Big Toe story [Sep. 21st, 2006|01:43 pm]
I should have died, and this is why...

ishouldhavedied

[jspurlin]
[mood |crushedcrushed]

So at college, you're exposed to all sorts of magnificent injuries, right. Some magnificently unlucky, some monumentally stupid. This... this was some of both.

Freshman year, I see this guy walking on crutches, with a bandage on his foot, right. I've had random stuff done to my feet, and I figure "hey, the guy had toe surgery," something like that. Nooo. Not so much.

Talking with him, he and some friends were apparently preparing for a party, and (heh, I almost couldn't help but laugh)

PINCHED HIS BIG TOE OFF (*poof*, off) WHEN THE BEER KEG FELL OUT OF THE TRUCK ON HIS FOOT.

That will make a good story for the grandchildren.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: mothoc
2006-09-21 07:25 pm (UTC)
he can always think of new and interesting stories to tell people why his big toe is gone. I mean, that's what *I'd* do if I were missing a toe or something. Keep several stories around to tell people when they ask. I'm just saying. ;)

"How'd you lose your toe?"
"Knife fight with a rival frat."

"How'd you lose your toe?"
"Escaped lemur at the Houston Zoo."

etc.
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[User Picture]From: jspurlin
2006-09-21 07:28 pm (UTC)
See, and he should tell stories that are blatant lies, 'cause "so there was this rabid beer keg, right" stories just don't have the same... je ne sais quois.
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[User Picture]From: b_phil
2006-09-21 07:51 pm (UTC)
One of my mom's classmates has a piece of her earlobe missing, where they apparantly had to remove a cyst or something like that. Problem is, when she mentions that, suddenly people want to know what caused the cyst, did it hurt, etc.

So now when asked, she says a guy ripped it off her ear during a gunpoint robbery in an alleyway. Every time she is asked again in a short time period, she comes up with a more elaborate version of the story. Apparantly having a chunk of your ear ripped out by a robber is less interesting than having it taken out by a surgeon.
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[User Picture]From: jspurlin
2006-09-21 08:27 pm (UTC)
Apparantly having a chunk of your ear ripped out by a robber is less interesting than having it taken out by a surgeon.

well, duh.

wait wait wait. I read that wrong the first time... weeeird (no, honestly), that the truth is more interesting.

appar-e-ntly, too.

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[User Picture]From: b_phil
2006-09-21 08:37 pm (UTC)
After I become Emporer of the Known Universe, I'm gonna have to make sure everyone else speaks and spells English correctly like I do.
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[User Picture]From: jspurlin
2006-09-21 08:40 pm (UTC)
please, please tell me you fucked up "Emperor" on purpose.

and, BWAAAAHAHAAAHAAHHA.
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[User Picture]From: b_phil
2006-09-21 08:49 pm (UTC)
Erm... well, when I become Emporer, that's how it'll be spelled. Kids will be required to recite the new correct spelling verbatim in class. Vinyl records with a reading of the correct spelling will be provided.
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[User Picture]From: jspurlin
2006-09-21 08:51 pm (UTC)
I'll kill you. (oh, right, like they'll suspect a guy in a t-rex costume of being dangerous.)

*tiptoes in the T-rex-suit*

(rarr)
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[User Picture]From: b_phil
2006-09-21 08:57 pm (UTC)
That reminds me, you met the blonde girl from SMU who went to AggieCon dressed as a dragon, right?

(If you don't remember her, do you remember the girl in the chainmail bikini? Same girl).
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[User Picture]From: jspurlin
2006-09-21 09:49 pm (UTC)
Allee? or which one? (it was a dinosaur, i think...)
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[User Picture]From: b_phil
2006-09-21 10:57 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Allee, and it was a dragon. She is apparantly the mascot for Lazy Dragon (I don't think the poor girl has a clue what she's getting into there).
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