|the Big Toe story
||[Sep. 21st, 2006|01:43 pm]
I should have died, and this is why...
So at college, you're exposed to all sorts of magnificent injuries, right. Some magnificently unlucky, some monumentally stupid. This... this was some of both.
Freshman year, I see this guy walking on crutches, with a bandage on his foot, right. I've had random stuff done to my feet, and I figure "hey, the guy had toe surgery," something like that. Nooo. Not so much.
Talking with him, he and some friends were apparently preparing for a party, and (heh, I almost couldn't help but laugh)
PINCHED HIS BIG TOE OFF (*poof*, off) WHEN THE BEER KEG FELL OUT OF THE TRUCK ON HIS FOOT.
That will make a good story for the grandchildren.
he can always think of new and interesting stories to tell people why his big toe is gone. I mean, that's what *I'd* do if I were missing a toe or something. Keep several stories around to tell people when they ask. I'm just saying. ;)
"How'd you lose your toe?"
"Knife fight with a rival frat."
"How'd you lose your toe?"
"Escaped lemur at the Houston Zoo."
See, and he should tell stories that are blatant lies, 'cause "so there was this rabid beer keg, right" stories just don't have the same... je ne sais quois.
One of my mom's classmates has a piece of her earlobe missing, where they apparantly had to remove a cyst or something like that. Problem is, when she mentions that, suddenly people want to know what caused the cyst, did it hurt, etc.
So now when asked, she says a guy ripped it off her ear during a gunpoint robbery in an alleyway. Every time she is asked again in a short time period, she comes up with a more elaborate version of the story. Apparantly having a chunk of your ear ripped out by a robber is less interesting than having it taken out by a surgeon.
Apparantly having a chunk of your ear ripped out by a robber is less interesting than having it taken out by a surgeon.
wait wait wait. I read that wrong the first time... weeeird (no, honestly), that the truth is more interesting.
After I become Emporer of the Known Universe, I'm gonna have to make sure everyone else speaks and spells English correctly like I do.
please, please tell me you fucked up "Emperor" on purpose.
Erm... well, when I become Emporer, that's how it'll be spelled. Kids will be required to recite the new correct spelling verbatim in class. Vinyl records with a reading of the correct spelling will be provided.
I'll kill you. (oh, right, like they'll suspect a guy in a t-rex costume of being dangerous.)
*tiptoes in the T-rex-suit*
That reminds me, you met the blonde girl from SMU who went to AggieCon dressed as a dragon, right?
(If you don't remember her, do you remember the girl in the chainmail bikini? Same girl).
Allee? or which one? (it was a dinosaur, i think...)
Yeah, Allee, and it was a dragon. She is apparantly the mascot for Lazy Dragon (I don't think the poor girl has a clue what she's getting into there).